Health and Attitude

I’m missing church for the second Sunday in a row and am not pleased with that.  Having lived with chronic illness for so long, the pain and discomfort bother me far less than the inability to do something I enjoy. For me, church isn’t a chore or a bore, but a place to get spiritually recharged by the Spirit and have a lot of fun.

Fun, you wonder?  Yes, I have fun at church. I love discussing the scriptures and practical principles of the gospel.  While there are a lot of people I’m fond of there, that and feeling the Holy Ghost are the main reasons why I go. I’m something of a purist when it comes to faith, so I do not mean to belittle my fellow Latter-day Saints – enjoying their company is a wonderful experience in its own right.

Heh, I wanted to write about how bad health doesn’t have to equal a bad attitude and I got sidetracked. It is a Sabbath day after all and still has my focus on God. Looks like I’ll be listening to conference talks, audio versions of the scriptures, and hymns here at home today.

But back on topic, or at least finally starting the topic!

I’ve felt physically terrible this week, more so than the usual thanks to the shingles flare up and aftermath. A lot of things I wanted to get done couldn’t get done.  So did I have a bad week?

The answer is no, not really.

Some people might think that strange and I admit it amuses me intellectually that there can be such a divorce between emotional and physical health.  Our current pop psychology influenced culture is so focused on victimhood and our medical culture on pushing off real ailments as being mental disorders that it has become an alien concept. Having had CFS for over twenty years now, I long ago recognized that I could enjoy things and be happy without feeling good physically. Thankfully, I listened to the old saying about taking pleasure in the simple things in life and took it to heart.

I do have my bad days like everyone else and loneliness is ever a challenge for those who are disabled by illness. But it doesn’t take away my capacity to enjoy things or appreciate how beautiful the world is. Once you allow yourself to feel the good on a regular basis it does wonders for your life.  When my life was first derailed by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I can safely say I didn’t see it that way. Anger, sadness, and bitterness dominated my soul.  But I’m a problem solver by nature and while I could never “solve” the illness, I did come to an understanding of what I could control.

That would be my attitude. Attitude matters in every facet of life and a bad attitude makes for a miserably difficult life. A good attitude makes for a happier, if still challenging, life. Even pain can be reduced by distracting yourself from it and there are good things that can do that. Helping others, reading something that makes you think, watching a movie that makes you feel good, exercising faith in God, and the simple joy of communicating with others for fun are all examples of things that are positive distractions.  There are many more.

At the moment I’m typing this, I hurt a lot through out my physical form. My body is being temperamental from my sinuses to my bowels and the itching isn’t quite gone from the shingles outbreak that has faded. I can’t go to church, which I enjoy so much. But I’m in a good mood.

Little things this week added up to having a good week for me even as I was frustrated by health induced limitations. While a tough month financially, I got through it and actually had discretionary funds for some bargains. My finances have improved enough I can afford to subscribe to Netflix again, get work gloves for when I have moments of physical ability to trim trees and bushes (rare, but I enjoy them), and obtain some used books I wanted badly. I even managed to get out and do some home teaching, get seeds for the garden, and groceries. My efforts to start writing again have born some fruit as I’m finding it easier to write blog posts. All are little things in life.

Gratitude.  That’s what is needed for a good attitude.

There is a LDS hymn, Count Your Blessings, that goes:

When upon life’s billows your are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

To survive the difficulties of life, you need to be grateful for the good things in it you have. That may not be easy to do. In fact, I’ve found it takes active effort to recognize them.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

I can testify to the benefits of appreciating the little things in life. While I may not be getting any of the big things in life, a lot of little things do add up to something greater. Sadly, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, so I’m not singing my way through the days. But I can do other things depending on how much energy I have on a given day – and choose to do those things. They carry over into the days I can’t.

In the end, I’ve chosen not to allow my health to keep me down. It is an active choice using my God given agency to take action (yes, I’m listening to Elder Robert D. Hales talk from October) by being grateful for and attentive to the little blessings in life. I am grateful to the Lord for what I have received.

I didn’t expect to give a testimony in this post, but it is fast and testimony in sacrament meeting on the first Sunday of each month. During these special services, members are encouraged to take the pulpit and give their testimony, or expression of faith. So I suppose it was something I was supposed to do even if I couldn’t make it to church.