That Which is Given, is Quickly Taken Away

I haven't been this upset in some time and typing this post is surprisingly difficult.

Just over three years ago, I wrote a post about a kitten I'd gotten to help another cat get over his depression at his brother's disappearance. Meriadoc was a little bundle of pure joy who more than accomplished his assigned task. Top adopted Merry as his new brother with the younger cat adoring him.


Along with a neighbor's cat who arrived in a snowstorm and refused to leave, the cats became very tight companions. So tight that we referred to them as "the Three Musketeers" due to their running around outside as a unit. They were so much fun to watch together, mainly due to the fact we'd never seen male cats bond like this before.


Two weeks ago, Merry went missing during high activity by local coyotes. Multiple nights they could be heard nearby taunting the neighbor's dogs. With no sign of him, we wrote him off as yet another cat taken by local varmints. We found ourselves missing him greatly.

Then this past Wednesday, I heard a rusty hinge of a meow from the dining room. Not believing my ears, I went to see if I was mishearing things. No, it was a beat up and very happy to be home Merry who begged to be picked up. Suffering from a slight weight loss and scratches from a fight with another cat, he was very much alive.

Over the next couple of days, he was in and out, demanding and getting extended holding sessions. His bowels weren't being kind to him, but I held him despite the pungent aroma he exuded while watching a DVD Friday night. I was so very grateful for his return that it didn't matter.

Little did I know that would be the last time I'd get to hold him alive.

Dad and I decided to go see a movie and as we turned on to the county road, I saw a black cat lying still in the middle of one lane. It was Merry. He'd been run over and his corpse was frozen without a hint of damage.

As I'm typing this, we have a fire going over a small patch of soil in an effort to soften it enough to bury the plucky black cat who gave us so much happiness. It wasn't just Top's heart that had been mended by Merry's presence, but those of the humans in his household.

Right now I'm fighting for self control. When I'd thought we'd lost him earlier, it wasn't like this. Losing him so soon after getting him back is unexpectedly excruciating. I'd thought I'd gotten used to the constant loss that defines my life.

Merry won't be and can't be replaced.