The Long Winter

With an unsubstantial winter storm last week that failed to live up to predictions of nine inches of snow (the snow melted the moment it hit the ground), spring has been elusive here in the upper Midwest. Only today are seasonal temperatures arriving, though we did have a few tantalizing previews that flitted in and out again to make the wait more torturous.

Things have been difficult other than enduring the long winter, with health and financial hits coming one after another. The Ford Freestyle became more and more of a problem child last year, finally becoming too expensive to be worth repairing early this year. A mad scramble to get a new used car has made money more than tight with the saving grace being that a used 2006 Subaru Outback with only 100,000 miles on it was obtained.

It turned out to be well needed given the amount of snow and freezing rain we’ve had in 2019. There was a series of bad luck involving the car and I’m still working on repairing some damage to the bumper cover and fender liner after a failed attempt to get up the driveway. Said damage manifested over time when high winds actually ripped out the front flap of the liner while driving and forcing it down into the road.

Eventually it will be replaces, but zip ties are holding for the moment. Other issues with the Subaru have been easier to take care of, if expensive when the tires had to be replaced.

It is a joy to drive like all Subaru’s and I’d missed the experience. The Ford was a good car that lasted far longer than most 2005 Freestyle’s have. When you can hit 250,000 miles on a first generation CVT you have been most fortunate.

I did make it out to see Avengers: Endgame on the premiere night at the local Spring Grove Cinema. Widely praised and record setting in box office takes, it is still a bit of a mess that feels like several movies were jammed together with only the barest amount of coherency. Most people will adore with the exceptions of those who dislike fantasy or feel that movies should be well made.

Given the amount of control Disney has over the productions, I don’t believe we’ll ever see a great Marvel movie again and certainly not a brilliant one. The movies have been going downhill for some time, the next phase is dedicated to social justice themes, and eventually there will be super hero burnout.

What will the next big type of movie be? I haven’t a clue, though the western genre isn’t going to be it. Meanwhile, I have vastly more important concerns than whatever fad hypnotizes the masses next.

Severe obesity is making life difficult. Attempts to lose thirty pounds of weight resulted in gaining thirty-five pound over the past two years. Finally tackling my health problems after being completely focused on my father’s netted visits to a nutritionist for that issue and a physical therapist to map out what exercises I should and shouldn’t do thanks the arthritis in my back, neck, and sternum.

Evaluating my normal caloric intake was sobering. At my size, age, and weight, the threshold for losing weight is 1900 calories. For the past two years, I’ve been eating something close 600-800 calories a day with higher exceptions several times a month. This wasn’t completely intentional, as there had been no calorie counting going on.

And still gaining weight.

For years before that, I’d been in the 1200 calories a day range. Lately, I was down to one meal a day, sometimes two, sometimes none. Thyroid and other tests show me in normal ranges, so there is something very strange going on with my metabolism.

After hearing I wanted to go to eating one meal every other day, the nutritionist looked alarmed and suggested I increase the amount I eat gradually, with a goal of eating three meals a day to try to jump start the body burning calories. Skeptical, I took the advice.

That turned out to be supremely difficult since when I change my diet, I change it permanently. No fads or short term changes allowed.

The ramp up of eating more was one of the most difficult things of my life. For the first two weeks, it became obvious my stomach had shrunk with no capacity for what was being consumed. Heartburn bordering on reflux was a near constant making for a miserable time.

Now almost two months later, three meals are doable, if they are small. Even so, it feels like the body doesn’t want it. Weight hasn’t been lost, but it hasn’t been gained. Frankly, if I never ate again I’d be ecstatic since eating has become such a chore.

One byproduct of all this is that hunger happens, something only experience once a month or so over the past five years. At first it wasn’t recognized as it wasn’t familiar. This is so contrary to most humans behavior that it makes me feel even more of a stranger in a strange land.

Sigh. I want the pounds off so the blood pressure will go down, flexibility return, and the aggravation of the arthritis reduced. The nutritionist warned I might never be able to lose the weight and it was something I might have to face. Further tests are most likely not covered by Medicare or MA, so that’s not an avenue to be explored.

I’ve entered the winter of my life and it is not going to be fun.