The Discontent of My Winter

If you go by my posting, I pretty much fell off the edge of the world once the temperatures dropped.  In some ways, that’s how things have felt simply because what energy I’ve had has been used on more necessary things without an iota of excess available to do what anything desired – or fun.
Aging and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome do not mix well is something that has become very apparent this past year. Having to face that things will never improve and only get worse is something all of us must do as the decades begin to race by, however this is more dramatic when a chronic illness is involved. Motivation levels do not matter one whit as one can strongly want to do something and simply be unable too.

I’d hoped to be reporting on my winter speaker rebuilding project with photos of the finished product. That isn’t going to happed since things have moved at a snails pace. Movie reviewing has flat out been dropped thanks to “brain fog” intensifying with the increase in pain and fatigue.
Frustrating doesn’t begin to touch the feelings experienced the past year or so.
Hopefully something, anything, will go right in the near future. All that can be done at the moment is endure.

A Lifetime of Service Ends

President Thomas S. Monson passed away last night after more than seven decades of service as a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His was an amazing life of dedicated service to others, beginning in earnest with being called as the bishop to the largest ward in the Church at the very young age of twenty two. Many were the blessing he helped bring to people around the world and he’ll be dearly missed.

For most of my membership in the Church he was the prophet at its head whose sermons were always warm, inviting, and humane. A constant sense of humor, abetted by great humility, in his delivery was endearing to say the least. There was never any doubt about how much he cared about others or his love for the Savior.

I can’t say I’m saddened by President Monson’s departure from the mortal coil for his health had visibly deteriorated over the past few years dimming his trademark energetic engagement with all around him. Knowing that good man can now rest for a bit in the company of his earlier departed wife is a relief. If any mortals can be said to deserve paradise, Thomas S. Monson would be at the head of the list, at least in my book.

2017

In many ways, 2017 was personally a lost year with health issues consuming far too much of my life. Nearly everything planned fell apart or was left incomplete once started, so it is without fondness that I bid the annum goodbye.

The one silver lining to the past twelve months is that my father is now able to eat solid foods again. He even gained weight during our one week stay at my sister’s house!

At least there were concrete improvements to government and foreign relations for the country despite the petulant whining of those invested in the current power structure and worshipping pop culture. As I’m writing this, a true resistance is trying to become a revolution in Iran against a genuine dictatorship in direct contrast to the histrionics here in the United States making me wonder if sanity has become a rare commodity in our decadent society.

Relief

The molar is finally out thanks to a dentist much closer than the Twin Cities taking mercy upon me and doing the extraction yesterday at a discount. Fortunately, the removal went smoothly with the offending tooth coming out mostly intact leaving just one root behind that didn’t put up a fight when subsequently yanked out. While the socket hurts and the associated swelling is there, it is nothing compared to what it was like before. Being able to breathe properly while sleeping is a wonderful thing.

Since the tooth was right on a nerve, there was risk in the extraction doing nerve damage, however it was already manifesting symptoms along that line so it needed to be done. For the past week I’d experienced what can only be described as a mild paralysis along the left side of the throat into the bronchial area accompanied by a slight numbness in the left corner of my lips. The morning after the procedure revealed that breathing in general had been affected by the infection as well, much to my surprise.

Once this heals up, it will be time to try to get something done about a large cavity. While I hope I can get the clinic in Rochester to do that so it is covered by UCare, the missed appointment put me months back in the queue. At this rate, selling belongings or borrowing money may be necessary for a cash payment at a closer dentist.

Oh well, one problem at a time.

Pressure Points

Events haven’t been going terribly well for me  lately. Another tooth needs extracting and finding an oral surgeon who accepts the dental insurance provided by the state of Minnesota is proving to be difficult. It is bad enough that the only regular dental clinic that I could find for basic care is 40+ miles away in Rochester, but UCare Connect (Delta Dental Civic Smiles) isn’t being accepted by the places listed as accepting it online. If the support team doesn’t find me a place in 48 hours, I’ll be back to calling numbers which usually reveals they stopped accepting it within the past several years.

Adding to the woes is a missed checkup appointment this week due to Verizon delivering all my voice mails from July, August, and early September on the day before the appointment. Since I don’t get out much, the push queue seems to delay me getting them dramatically. In August, I received messages from May and July along with one from 2016!

Something in the Air?

Lately I’ve been seeing people flip out on others online to a degree worse than usual. Being a target of it out of the blue a couple of times myself, it has been an exercise in Christian forgiveness followed by deliberate avoidance since the attackers persist no matter how much you explain yourself patiently. This is nothing new on the Net for I remember the flame wars on Usenet decades ago.

Catching a Break

I wish this was a positive break, however it is not. The filling on the tooth that broke earlier this spring cracked while eating soft ice cream much to my ire. frustration, and baffled amazement. Since that filling was placed, other teeth have had smaller old resin fillings break as well so I’m wondering if resin is all its cracked up to be, no pun intended.

Sure enough, a little research online reveals them to be more prone to cracking and fracture then metal. Lovely.

Given the tooth location, I wonder if metal is even an option. While hoping extraction is not on the boards, it is only a matter of time before I become one of those people missing teeth up front. Medical Assistance simply doesn’t cover much anymore and dental work is incredibly expensive. $1400 for a cap is impossible for someone who is as far below the poverty line as I am.

With multiple teeth hurting to some degree, it is hard not to be pessimistic about the situation. I really miss the days local dentists accepted MA so that traveling for over an hour wasn’t adding to the difficulty. Not to mention it was a lot easier to get in for an appointment.

Sigh. Part of this is I’ve had to neglect my health during my father’s cancer battle and ensuing complications. Now that he’s doing much better, I’m falling apart. I don’t even have a regular doctor and will have to change healthcare systems it appears.

Something is going to give way soon, I fear.