Finally a Half-Life Movie?

From J.J. Abrams of the Star Trek reboot and director of the next Star Wars movie to boot. Or it could be a Portal movie, though that wouldn’t take a big budget director in my opinion. I’ve waited so long for a movie based on Half-Life that I’m having trouble generating any enthusiasm now that it may happen. That may be because I’m ill right now, but I’d be more interested in Valve finishing the dangling storyline from Half-Life: Episode 2 before all the voice actors die of old age.

Health 2-5-2013

This infection has been impressively debilitating. Now I understand how people can die from such things as I’ve had the oddest impression that I’ve gotten closer to death than ever before.

The initial outbreak site, or hard lump, is significantly larger now being roughly the size and shape of the butt of a rifle or shotgun. It’s a source of continuous pain if I don’t focus on ignoring it.

Oh and that brings me to yet another bizarre experience out of all this during the first days. I use stress reducing meditation methods involving moving my perception around different areas in the body. This actually increases blood flow and lessons pain in my experience, but wow was this different.

Everywhere I moved my perception to immediately began to sharply hurt!

It was the exact opposite result of what normally happens and don’t have a clue about the mechanisms involved. This infection has been a strange odyssey so far.

Today has shown some improvement. Breathing had been difficult and is now easier, which is a big relief. My extremities aren’t icy and appear to be getting decent blood flow again. Stretches of sleep are longer, but not what they should be.

Iron Man 3 Super Bowl Ad: Extended Look

Robert Downey Jr truly is a master thespian.

Some fun for a cold and dreary Monday morning.

Hate: My Personal Origins

A continuation of my essays on hate, this time focusing on how I learned to hate with every iota of my being when I was young. As I’ve grown older, it has become apparent that nurture overwhelms nature to a great degree and looking back at how being bullied changed me I can see that now. Why? Because one can change back after being changed…

I was a cheerful, happy kid who got criticized for talking too much in my early years. The world was so fascinating and a source of constant wonder, so I wanted to share that with others. Born into a family where my siblings were half-brothers sixteen and twenty years older respectively, that meant I was dealing with adults full time and they don’t like to hear from kids. They were also more concerned with extending their adolescence or reliving it, so that had something to do with it.

To be clear, I was never beaten, abused, or mistreated. Instead I was pretty much left to do whatever I wanted -- which could have been disastrous. Fortunately for my parents, I was a relentlessly good kid enamored of heroes and acts of valor. Sadly, I never had the kind of health or physical strength to do much with those impulses.

Interesting Weirdness

As much as I despise writing about my terrible health, I have to say sometimes my experiences with it can be very interesting – if I can notice them past the misery. The infection I’m suffering from right now has given me two experiences involving perception that fascinate me.

The first was awakening and getting up after forgetting to take the contacts out. Everything was foggy inside the house, so I removed them and put my glasses on. There was still a mist throughout, so I took the glasses off. Still foggy. Then I noticed that all light sources had rainbow hues halos around them. Even more strange was that I could look at a naked light bulb without experiencing discomfort or pain, which is extraordinary given I’m very light sensitive.

It eventually faded out after an hour or two, but it was something I’d never experienced before. Today I’m back to light hurting the eyes, so at least that is normal again. What mechanism was responsible for this I do not know and am very curious to discover.

The second experience was time distortion last night. Normally if I suffer it from being ill, it tends to be lost time. By this I mean time goes by in large chunks and I don’t realize it until I see a clock. But last night I suffered time distortion that was the exact opposite. I was dead sure many hours had gone by, but only an hour or so had. Even more extreme was a couple of instances where I thought several hours had passed and it had only been fifteen minutes! It got to the point I didn’t trust the clocks.

Bizarre and disturbing are the two words I’d use to describe that particular side effect of the infection. I hope to never again experience it.

I suppose I should document where things stand with the infection. After two doses of Ampligen, my fever (or more accurately what passes for one with me) broke around 4:15 AM (which I was sure was 6 or 7 AM). Delirium ended after that, but breathing is still difficult.

My blood pressure at the clinic was sky high for me. Initial reading was 150/100 and the one taken after I'd had time to rest was 142/90. I’m usually in the ballpark of 120/80 and even when fighting an illness like bronchitis only hit 134/85 for a maximum. All I can surmise is that my entire system is under attack. Meditation techniques had little effect as can be evidenced by the change in readings.

A Strange Lump

Awakened yesterday with a silver dollar sized lump having formed inside of one of my thighs. It got very painful, but I decided to tough it out. Not so good an idea. It has become the size of a fist and I was very ill last night. Time for an emergency trip to the doctor.

Packing things in a backpack, just in case.

UPDATED:

That’s a relief. Instead of possibly being a blood clot of some kind like I suspected due to location, it is instead a very bad infection. Antibiotics have been procured and a procedure scheduled for when it becomes an abscess.

This one is a doozy, I feel worse than when I had the flu and bronchitis. Once again I am sidelined.

Changes to the Blog and One Thing Not Changing

While I really liked the minimalist theme in place since the beginning of the year, the free template was not very flexible and easily broken. So now I’m trying out this Blogger provided one since it is the closest in feel to it though even more minimalist in appearance. Also, I’ve enabled the Mobile option to see if it displays a little better on smartphones and tablets. Any feedback on that particular feature would be appreciated.

After doing some digging, I found I was not alone in seeing my traffic decline starting in December. Google has made some changes that have demoted a lot of sites in their search engine and it doesn’t look like they’ll be undoing them. That means I’ll never see the traffic I once had

One massive change by Google that is actually destroying livelihoods is a revamp of the image search that now shows the full size images on a website rather than preview images. So sites that would get traffic to sell images and photos now do not because they aren’t linked to as prominently. The theory going around is that this is a result of pressure from Pinterest and Facebook in the arena of searching for pictures.