Hate: My Personal Origins

A continuation of my essays on hate, this time focusing on how I learned to hate with every iota of my being when I was young. As I’ve grown older, it has become apparent that nurture overwhelms nature to a great degree and looking back at how being bullied changed me I can see that now. Why? Because one can change back after being changed…

I was a cheerful, happy kid who got criticized for talking too much in my early years. The world was so fascinating and a source of constant wonder, so I wanted to share that with others. Born into a family where my siblings were half-brothers sixteen and twenty years older respectively, that meant I was dealing with adults full time and they don’t like to hear from kids. They were also more concerned with extending their adolescence or reliving it, so that had something to do with it.

To be clear, I was never beaten, abused, or mistreated. Instead I was pretty much left to do whatever I wanted -- which could have been disastrous. Fortunately for my parents, I was a relentlessly good kid enamored of heroes and acts of valor. Sadly, I never had the kind of health or physical strength to do much with those impulses.

Trust

A post in which I ramble about trust, lies, and forgiveness.

Inspired by a post by Hanny, I have been pondering the topic of trust for the past day. While he writes about his personal issues with trust, the decline of trust in our society is what has dominated my thinking. There have been two eras in my life where trust has disintegrated within our society with the first being the Watergate fallout. The second is harder for me to figure out when it started and for good reason. I will get back to that in a bit.

It would be good for me to write a disclaimer of sorts.

A year and half ago, I went through a pain therapy course involving meditation to relieve chronic pain. In order to join the course, I had to take the multiphasic personality test that professionals belief reveal all about you. According to it, I trust too easily.

Anybody who knows me in any kind of depth knows I do not trust people one whit. My favorite mental phrase is “I don’t trust them any further than I can shoot them.” Seriously, I am not joking. When I was very young, I was trusting. It was interactions with other humans that completely destroyed that. Betrayal is something I learned about early and repeatedly.

Odd and Ends 2-9-2012

Fighting off a sinusitis flare up makes getting up and out to get a haircut more of a travail then it should be. Despite that, I survived and am no longer shaggy. In theory I am more presentable, but theories and reality are very divergent I find.

Currently I am working on HD screen captures from Captain America: The First Avenger for a review of the Blu-ray and DVD release. As I suspected, the film looks better in 2D than 3D. I cannot wait for that fad to die out again and from the way theater attendance has dropped the studios will be forced to give up within the next couple of years.

So far subscribing to Hulu Plus has been a good decision. I am finding things of interest that are not on free Hulu and have begun to dip my toe into the waters of Korean dramas. The show I started watching last night is particularly interesting because it blends a 17th century historical setting with The X-Files. If it sounds strange, that is because it is! Secret Investigation Record follows the investigation of an honest magistrate in the corrupt government trying to unravel a sighting of a mysterious glowing giant gourd flying through the sky and the disappearance of an entire village. So far it has been very good.

Silent films are another thing I have been getting more into and Hulu Plus has a good selection of classics there as well. It has been decades since I have seen Nosferatu or Phantom of the Opera and as an adult I think I will appreciate them more.

There has been controversy over the Obama administration issuing waivers to some states in regards to the No Child Left Behind standards. For once, I agree with them on something. The program has done nothing to really improve public education despite having noble intentions. As it is, I suspect we are drifting toward the Japanese model of having private schools as the only way up and out, with public schooling being a death knell to one’s prospects. That is in the very long term, unless the coming economic collapse hastens things. Our systemic education issues will not be resolved through the government, I am afraid.

I am not sure how I feel about Smith Brothers Warm Apple Pie throat drops. If it were not for the cinnamon bits in them, they probably would be disgusting. As it is, they serve to remind me how much I like cinnamon.

One has to love translations from one language to another and the misunderstandings that can be involved. In this case, I just opened a booklet to a multimedia device and the second thing listed under notes says:

Avoid strong beat and collision.

But what if I want to put some techno on it?

Odds and Ends for the Weekend

Haven’t been feeling very well and it has killed my writing the last few weeks.  Adding insult to injury, I broke a tooth 5 minutes before the local dentist closed for the weekend and have to wait until Monday to get something done.

Anyway, I ran into quite a few interesting things on the Net during all this and will put them in this post while I plot out a rather large one on the very bad economic news this month.

First up is a low budget docudrama aimed at educating kids about the Battle of Bunker Hill.  Since we live in a very visual age, I think the idea for the whole series has a great deal of merit.

Next is a fascinating find of the earliest known Hebrew writing. It dates 400 years earlier than the previously oldest Hebrew discovered and suggests the Old Testament is well, older than thought.  The content is very much like the scriptures and contains commandments on how to treat orphans, the poor, and slaves.

Ever buy expensive running shoes?  That may be making a fundamental mistake about running if this article is correct.  All I can say is that is my natural way of walking when barefoot so I wouldn’t be surprised if the theory pans out. No matter what, the prices commanded by these shoes is ludicrous.

Finally, a cautionary story about how success can corrupt the creative process to the point of destroying a project.  Duke Nukem 3D was a hugely successful videogame released in 1996 and the sequel was promised almost immediately.  Last year it was cancelled after an insanely prolonged development that showed no sign of completion. At least it no longer is the king of vaporware!

The Creeping Cost of Bureaucracy or Baumel's Cost Disease

I'd never run into Baumel's Cost Disease before, but I find it most intriguing as it explains much of the runaway costs associated with healthcare, education, and government.  It also calls into question of how much we can cut from health care costs, especially when huge increases to the bureaucracy running it are proposed.  More paperwork means more labor, which means more money required, with any costs cut through other methods most likely negated.  Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if the increased costs of managing health care would dwarf all savings from streamlining other aspects. 

The intimidating thing about Baumel's Cost Disease is that it applies to education and all forms of government.  The more rules and regulations piled on will increase expenses that will never go down.  Eventually, you get to a place where you can't afford any of it.  Sound familiar?

Hat tip to Instapundit for the link.