The Insert Title Here Post

Ever try to use your brain only to find a busy signal, or worse yet, an answering machine? That’s how I’ve felt so far this week. Fortunately for me it is only Tuesday evening and the rest of the week awaits. Life has seemed hectic lately, yet I think it is only my perception of things rather than it being busy.

Part of the vapidity I currently suffer from has much to do with being overly tired. I’ve been pushing my limits again and finding out that they have become more restrictive. Not encouraging, but I work with what I’m given. This time around, I made myself fairly ill the middle of last week by really overdoing things. Still, it could be worse.

The last two Sunday’s have been particularly interesting due to changes at church. Bidding farewell to those you are fond of is always a melancholy things, usually a little while after when it hits you that you won’t be seeing them around anymore. In this case, an older couple moving out to the West to be nearer the kids and grandchildren marks the end of an era to me.

What’s Going On

While I’ve been ill, that doesn’t mean things stop happening. Life is like that, it moves on whether or not you think it should. Look around you at the small changes and events occurring without cease. They add up to a lot of things happening if you just open your eyes to them.

Oh and if your were expecting some Marvin Gaye, here he is and you don’t have to read any further:

Fantastic song from a tormented soul.

Now for what’s going on in my life.

Making Faith Godly

Making a challenge when teaching Sunday school has its consequences. This post is one due to the fact that I have to live up to the challenge I delivered to the men in my class to write about their faith this week. Diaries, journals, wives' diaries, letter, mother's diaries, blogs, or whatever it took were part of my request.

 

So here I am, writing about my faith. It is more rambling than I would like due to being written during a hectic day yesterday and a very tired day today.

 

Faith is the first critical step towards finding salvation through Christ. Yet there are different kinds of faith, from the material to the spiritual. Only the most paranoid have no faith, though I suppose they do have faith in the idea that the world is out to get them. Simply having a belief in something unseen (ref. Hebrews 11:1) is not religious in itself, as was pointed out by the class during a lesson I taught in Elders Quorum this past Sunday.

No, there is more to it than that. So I find myself contemplating my faith in God and whether or not it is a Godly faith.

 

Life or Something Approximating It

The past week was busy by my standards and this week looks to begin that way. Saturday and Sunday combined to make for a marathon run of events, so I am not feeling terribly good today. Two D&D sessions in a row contributed mightily to that, but at least we had one TPW (Total Party Wipeout). I did try to get the party killed in the first session, but the level five party managed to survive a mummy lord thanks to me and defeat a young adult green dragon that I attacked. He did have it coming after torturing my character, I must say.

I was rather surprised to be given the Diablo III Book of Cain hardcover by my friends hosting the second session. While I cannot yet afford the game, I always enjoyed the lore and storyline contained in the series which this book covers. It looks like it will be a fun read.

This, That, and the Other Thing

Things have been what I would classify as eventful since the weekend. Though in at least one case, more like eventful stalled – but more on that later. This is going to be a long post since I want to record the happenings for posterity. Hopefully it will not be too boring for other to read!

It all started with the celebration of a five year old’s birthday party. One of the families I home teach (explained here) is a young family with small children. The oldest one is a boy who has taken a shine to me for some inexplicable reason and is something of a problem child. Being very big and strong for his age, he is also very willful. He is also a miracle baby who should not exist according to doctors, for his mother was not supposed to be able to have children.

I have a code I live by that goes something like this: If a person who is not a moocher or leech attaches themselves to me, I feel an obligation to be as good a friend I can be to them. Now this is not a reluctant, foot dragging kind of “I have to do this” kind of feeling. Rather it is a sign to me that I need to make an effort and that the likelihood that God set this up is high.

So in this case, I have a little kid doing it and that is a first for me. It is also terrifying for a hopeless bachelor such as myself. While I am told I am good with children, my lack of experience with them makes it a very scary experience indeed. Maybe one day I will get past that, but not today.

Running to God

As I write this, sacrament meeting will be starting shortly at the La Crosse Ward. Too ill to be there, I find myself missing it like I always do when my health acts up. This time it is not quite as bad, because of something that happened last night.

One of the things about being a real film buff is the desire to reacquaint oneself with films seen decades earlier, especially ones seen when young. The changes in perception and understanding can be very profound, I have discovered. In fact, one film I loved as a teen, Cool Hand Luke, I now despise greatly. Deciding to be an adult is a conscious decision in our society these days and making that choice changed a lot of things for me.

Back in the early 80s, a movie won best picture and became an unlikely hit. Focused on runners in the 1920s trying to medal for the United Kingdom, Chariots of Fire is most remembered for its amazing theme by Vangelis. I remembered seeing the movie a couple of years after release and having a favorable opinion of it, but that is about it.

Chicken Scratches

I survived the weekend. therefore I declare a small victory for doing so. It was not a particularly challenging weekend as far as demands go, but I can’t make any claims to having much energy. Today was a high pain index day with my back sounding like Rice Crispies – which is actually a good thing. When it pops like that, it relieves  the pain.

Last night’s gaming session got very silly indeed with my paladin surviving a crocodile attack while he was sleeping. A crocodile named “Crikey.” That would have been a bad way to go. Especially since I’m the tank of the party.

Church was interesting today. A new High Priest Group Leader and new Elders Quorum President were the surprises for the day. So in the past two months most of the auxiliary heads and the Bishopric changed. More to come we were told.

A debt ceiling deal was reached and now we’ll see if it can be passed. I suspect it will. It is all reshuffling the deck chairs anyway.

Time to submit my finances to the county again for review. It is a good excuse to go to town for a print out of my Social Security benefits. Unfortunately, the weather will be miserable again. I’ll take the camera along just in case an interesting picture presents itself. It would be nice to get going on photography again.

My personal goal of writing 300 words per day on the blog has been easily passed, so stage one of getting in the habit of writing has worked out well. I’ve begun rounding up the various tablets, electronic files, and loose notes with ideas for stories that I’ve strewn about over the years. Time to put them into one physical location and transcribe them to bits and bytes.

The Thirteen Days review is going to take a lot longer than expected. Instead of viewing it twice it is going to take at least three to four viewings. Normally I watch once to take notes and a second time to make screen captures. For some reason, the fact the DVD has commentary and a special pop up feature eluded my notice all the years I’ve owned it. Those need reviewing too on this overlooked film.

More soundtrack reviews will probably be posted in the future. One of the more interesting trends in music is that of high quality scores for video games. So those will get some attention since they are off the beaten path.

Sunday Drive

That was a tired Sunday.  I was supposed to substitute teach the Gospel Principles class during second hour of church and wondered if I felt well enough to go.  One short prayer over that and I tried to wake myself up. It was a borderline situation.

Then a phone call around around 8 AM from a friend at church made it clear I’d better go in.  Somehow, I’d just agreed to teach Elders Quorum third hour too, since the friend was too sick to make it in. While I didn’t have as much prep time for the lesson as I’d normally like, last minute substitutions are nothing new to me. So prayer answered; message received.

There were no nonmembers investigating the faith, so second hour duties evaporated and I had a chance to do some real preparation of the lesson. The topic was the General Conference talk by Elder Quentin L. Cook titled LDS Women Are Incredible! which is about, you guessed it, the women of the Church.  With the Relief Society Presidency being changed today, I had a chance to catch some sisters in the hallway and ask them what they would like the brethren to understand about them. That was educational, being terminally single.

Feeling prepared, I went into the lesson a bit more confident than I’d felt before. But I could feel my energy levels dropping by the minute and I’m just grateful I didn’t put too many to sleep. Interesting how the Holy Ghost prompted me to go with a completely different approach to the lesson than I’d planned.

The important thing is the class and I survived to see another day.

The drive home was somewhat blurry around the edges, so I took a minor scenic detour to keep me awake. No, not a ditch. An alternate route.

That turned out to be more stimulating than expected thanks to a blond woman in a full size van who wanted to do 70 MPH on a windy and hilly rural road. Tailgating me during what is supposed to be a relaxed Sunday drive is not what the doctor ordered. Though I’ll admit it kept me awake.

I was able to outrun her in the curves but she always came up on me in the straight sections. At first I thought I was imagining her being lead footed, but it happened mile after mile. Just when I thought I’d shook her off, there would be the Ford logo in my rearview mirror.

And they say men are the aggressive drivers.

Eventually I made it home and didn’t even have to dodge any deer while coming down the driveway. Food, then bed followed. Sometime around 6 PM I awakened and did something, but I don’t remember what. Hey, that was almost four hours ago and the memory goes once you get older.

Somewhere along the line I started this post.  Currently feeling very blurry around the edges again and it will be an early night for me.

Home Is Where the Heart Is

One of the best things about the lay ministry that is at the heart of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is something that is called Home Teaching. For the worthy men in the Church holding the priesthood, it is their duty to look in on and minister to households they are assigned to. Since our bishops and branch presidents (akin to a minister or priest in other denominations) hold full time jobs and have families, there is a need to spread the weight of taking care of the flock.

While there are many different callings (unpaid jobs) in every congregation, Home Teaching is the one every priesthood holder must do. It is the one calling you never get released from. That alone shows how important it is. You have different families you are assigned to over the years, but you are never to stop carrying out your teaching.

I vividly remember the first Priesthood Sunday school meeting I went to while investigating the Church. Guess what the lesson was on?  You got it.  Right away I was excited because I knew that this was the way things should be. God wants his children to learn to love each other and there is no better way to learn than to do.

So what exactly is Home Teaching then?

By the book, it is a once a month visit to a household by two priesthood holding men in the Church to teach a short lesson about the Gospel. You have to get in the door for it to officially count. Now some will consider any kind of visit to count and it is up to the individual home teacher and the priesthood leadership to determine that. Me, I’m a stickler for getting in the door and it has everything to do with the real reasons we have Home Teaching.

What it is really about is looking out for the well being of those we visit. Not just the spiritual well being, but the emotional and economic as well. Latter-day Saints are often fiercely independent, which has a lot to do with the emphasis on self reliance taught in the Church. But that can be taken too far and people in need of help will either feel afraid or too proud to ask for help once in a crisis. Unlike a full time paid clergy, our leaders can’t visit everyone in a large congregation on a regular basis. Combine that with a natural human tendency by some to be afraid of anyone in authority and needs can be overlooked. That’s where our home teachers come in.

If they have built up a good relationship with the people they look after, the home teachers are able to see what things are most needed for those people. It also means being someone they can call in a crisis, someone to provide a shoulder to lean or cry on, and someone who will be their friend. In some cases, it also means being the only contact with the Church for those who have fallen away from attending or are unable to attend due to health.

In order to minister properly to others, you need to know the hearts of those you teach. It is said that “home is where the heart is” and in my experience visiting people in their homes brings a totally different spirit. There you see people as they really are and which enables you to talk freely in ways I sometimes think our culture has forgotten in the States. Personally, I love to visit the families I’ve been assigned to.

In the end, Home Teaching is about loving and serving others, giving of your time and energy to be there for them. In order to live a Christ-like life, we must follow in the footsteps of the Savior, no matter how large or small they appear to us. Home Teaching isn’t a sacrifice to me, for I get a lot back out of it too. In doing service for others, I find myself comforted by the Spirit and closer to Christ as I try to emulate his actions. I’ve also gotten to know a lot of wonderful people  this way that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

I think Paul summed up what I feel about Home Teaching when he wrote to the Corinthians:

What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel. For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. 1 Cor. 9:18-19

It has definitely made me a better man and hopefully a better priesthood holder.

Oh and lest I get in trouble with the sisters of the Church, I better point out that they have their own version called Visiting Teaching. In this case, they visit the women members. It isn’t surprising they are better at doing this than the brothers. I have no end to my admiration of Relief Society, which also happens to be the oldest women’s organization in the country.

Health and Attitude

I’m missing church for the second Sunday in a row and am not pleased with that.  Having lived with chronic illness for so long, the pain and discomfort bother me far less than the inability to do something I enjoy. For me, church isn’t a chore or a bore, but a place to get spiritually recharged by the Spirit and have a lot of fun.

Fun, you wonder?  Yes, I have fun at church. I love discussing the scriptures and practical principles of the gospel.  While there are a lot of people I’m fond of there, that and feeling the Holy Ghost are the main reasons why I go. I’m something of a purist when it comes to faith, so I do not mean to belittle my fellow Latter-day Saints – enjoying their company is a wonderful experience in its own right.

Heh, I wanted to write about how bad health doesn’t have to equal a bad attitude and I got sidetracked. It is a Sabbath day after all and still has my focus on God. Looks like I’ll be listening to conference talks, audio versions of the scriptures, and hymns here at home today.

But back on topic, or at least finally starting the topic!

I’ve felt physically terrible this week, more so than the usual thanks to the shingles flare up and aftermath. A lot of things I wanted to get done couldn’t get done.  So did I have a bad week?

The answer is no, not really.

Some people might think that strange and I admit it amuses me intellectually that there can be such a divorce between emotional and physical health.  Our current pop psychology influenced culture is so focused on victimhood and our medical culture on pushing off real ailments as being mental disorders that it has become an alien concept. Having had CFS for over twenty years now, I long ago recognized that I could enjoy things and be happy without feeling good physically. Thankfully, I listened to the old saying about taking pleasure in the simple things in life and took it to heart.

I do have my bad days like everyone else and loneliness is ever a challenge for those who are disabled by illness. But it doesn’t take away my capacity to enjoy things or appreciate how beautiful the world is. Once you allow yourself to feel the good on a regular basis it does wonders for your life.  When my life was first derailed by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I can safely say I didn’t see it that way. Anger, sadness, and bitterness dominated my soul.  But I’m a problem solver by nature and while I could never “solve” the illness, I did come to an understanding of what I could control.

That would be my attitude. Attitude matters in every facet of life and a bad attitude makes for a miserably difficult life. A good attitude makes for a happier, if still challenging, life. Even pain can be reduced by distracting yourself from it and there are good things that can do that. Helping others, reading something that makes you think, watching a movie that makes you feel good, exercising faith in God, and the simple joy of communicating with others for fun are all examples of things that are positive distractions.  There are many more.

At the moment I’m typing this, I hurt a lot through out my physical form. My body is being temperamental from my sinuses to my bowels and the itching isn’t quite gone from the shingles outbreak that has faded. I can’t go to church, which I enjoy so much. But I’m in a good mood.

Little things this week added up to having a good week for me even as I was frustrated by health induced limitations. While a tough month financially, I got through it and actually had discretionary funds for some bargains. My finances have improved enough I can afford to subscribe to Netflix again, get work gloves for when I have moments of physical ability to trim trees and bushes (rare, but I enjoy them), and obtain some used books I wanted badly. I even managed to get out and do some home teaching, get seeds for the garden, and groceries. My efforts to start writing again have born some fruit as I’m finding it easier to write blog posts. All are little things in life.

Gratitude.  That’s what is needed for a good attitude.

There is a LDS hymn, Count Your Blessings, that goes:

When upon life’s billows your are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

To survive the difficulties of life, you need to be grateful for the good things in it you have. That may not be easy to do. In fact, I’ve found it takes active effort to recognize them.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

I can testify to the benefits of appreciating the little things in life. While I may not be getting any of the big things in life, a lot of little things do add up to something greater. Sadly, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, so I’m not singing my way through the days. But I can do other things depending on how much energy I have on a given day – and choose to do those things. They carry over into the days I can’t.

In the end, I’ve chosen not to allow my health to keep me down. It is an active choice using my God given agency to take action (yes, I’m listening to Elder Robert D. Hales talk from October) by being grateful for and attentive to the little blessings in life. I am grateful to the Lord for what I have received.

I didn’t expect to give a testimony in this post, but it is fast and testimony in sacrament meeting on the first Sunday of each month. During these special services, members are encouraged to take the pulpit and give their testimony, or expression of faith. So I suppose it was something I was supposed to do even if I couldn’t make it to church.

A Tense World

I’m going to preface this post with a bit of whining.  It is annoying that I’ve had multiple grim postings on this blog and I’d rather be writing about more positive things.  It is time for me to do another review just to break the monotony, so my next post will be a long delayed review on a Smallville episode from last season.

On to the dark and dreary…

A Latter-day Saints bishop in Fresno was murdered yesterday after services by a stranger asking to see anyone in charge at the Visalia 2nd Ward.  My prayers go out to his family and congregation.  With all the Mormon bashing ramping up because of Prop 8 and Glenn Beck’s growing popularity, I wouldn’t be surprised if this doesn’t get classified as a hate crime.  But it could easily be a suicide by police situation given the gloomy economic times.

Speaking of Glenn Beck, I’m not a fan of his.  But I thought his “Restoring Honor” rally was a very good thing and am glad it wasn’t a political rally like the left made it out to be.  It was an old fashioned revival and correctly made the point that the people of America need to get their act together if anything good is to be done.  We certainly can’t rely on governments to be moral authorities.  Predictably, the political left have savaged the event and tried to paint it as racist.  They completely missed the point and that is very sad indeed.

Meanwhile, the West continues to be clueless as to how the Middle East actually operates.  While all cultures have difficulty understanding each other, the governments of the West perpetually assume that everyone else wants the same things we do.  Foolish is a word that barely begins to describe that assumption. Watching the jockeying in the Middle East with Iran and Turkey making a bid for dominant influence in the area is fascinating and underscores the fractured divisions weakening the Arab states.  With little Arab unity they are unable to resist their rivals influence.  Syria’s falling into Tehran's sphere of influence would have been unthinkable decades ago.  This interview of Jonathan Spyer by Michael Totten illustrates some of the problems with America and Europe’s view of the Middle East.  It is lengthy and worth every minute spent reading it.

Ever wondered what the United States looked like during the lead up to the Civil War?  A panorama of Cincinnati, Ohio’s waterfront has been scanned in from daguerreotype photos made in 1848 and put out for the public to see.  That type of photographic process is an amazing thing in itself and the detail that can be pulled from the old plates is incredible.  It makes me wonder what modern lenses combined with the old technology could do.

I Know Seminary Is Hard, But...

Also found this on Drudge today: a report on a Satan worshipping teen setting fire to a church in California.  It turns out the fire was set in the chapel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Orangevale.  Being a Latter-day Saint myself, of course it caught my attention.  Since the fire was set shortly after 7 AM and the girl is fifteen, I knew she'd done it during Seminary.

One of the best things about my church is the religious education program that encompasses more than just 'Sunday school.' Since I converted late in life, I missed out on two of the better ones, Institute and Seminary.  Where Institute is for college & college aged members, Seminary focuses on that most precarious of times in one's life -- the teenage years.  In a modern world filled with all kinds of self destructive behaviors pushed by our culture, it is a refuge for kids trying to make the shaky transition from child to proto-adult.

Every school day morning, teens go to seminary early in the morning, before public school classes begin.  That requires a real commitment by the teen and by their parents, who have to get up just as early to run them to Seminary classes.  Besides teaching the Gospel, this requirement of hewing to a daily routine teaches perseverance and the ability to make and keep commitments. Yes it is hard to make that daily commitment and see it through.  That's no reason to set a pew on fire, however tempting that may be in the throes of teenage angst. 

A quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley illustrate the simple blessings that can come from attending:

“We urge all for whom it is available to take advantage of it. We do not hesitate to promise that your knowledge of the gospel will be increased, your faith will be strengthened, and you will develop wonderful associations and friendships”

Sadly, it appears this young woman hasn't taken full advantage of what has been offered her, instead she has allowed herself to be led down a dark path.  When kids start worshipping Satan, there are major problems below the surface.  That's why I'm gratified to see how the local Church and authorities are handling this in a truly Christian way -- by requesting that she not be punished and that she be given the counseling she so obviously needs.

In dealing with such cases, we need to follow the example of the Savior on the cross who said of those who crucified him, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34