So Much for That

Instead of being at stake conference, I find myself relegated to sitting at home and typing this post. One of the things about having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is that you often do not get to do what you badly want to. To a certain degree, your agency is curtailed.

The entire weekend was a bust because I overdid things on Friday. Though I will admit that given the unpredictability of the illness, I may have already been in trouble. So I did not go to the birthday party, the two sessions of stake conference, and the special meeting with Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Twelve. The latter is especially disappointing for me.

After knowing I was in no condition to go anywhere Saturday, I concentrated on resting up for today. It was to no avail and I knew I was in trouble from the moment I got up at 6 AM. My father offered to drive me, but it turns out the car would have needed gas anyway and though it was severely tempting, I would not violate the Sabbath. In the end, it would not have mattered because I was in very bad shape and would have been a zombie through the whole thing.

I have done that before and can testify to the fact that you come away with little to no benefit, since you don’t remember what was said. Instead of an uplifting and edifying experience, it becomes a miserable marathon of trying to stay awake. Only around 11:30 AM was I able to begin to function today to illustrate the problem.

Not being able to do things like this gnaws at my very soul and now I need to find my way out of the foul temper I am in. I will listen to my library of scriptures, hymns, and conference talks and hope to find some peace there.